Okay, I just love seeing reporters knocked off their feet by storm waves and it is even funnier when the reporter is a) telling us all how dangerous the waves are; and b) he almost loses his drawers. (It is censored, so you can watch without fear.)

It shouldn’t be a newsflash that putting people into the pounding surf can result in pounding. I will admit that I’ve had a little fun this week, but hurricane preparation is a serious business. But I still think the whole naming process needs work.

What do you think? Are you ready for hurricanes or the zombie apocalypse? Do you harbor a secret longing to get knocked off your feet by a monster wave and end up as the featured video on YouTube? All comments are entered into my monthly drawing for $10 AnaBanana gift card. Winner is announced in the first blog post of the new month.

Perilously yours,

Pauline

Pauline became fascinated with hurricanes when she and the hubs moved to Texas in 1980 and she found herself a) unprepared and b) facing a possible hurricane landfall. It didn’t happen. That time. Being an author, she used her experiences in a book. In Girl Gone Nova, Doc gets up close and personal with a big–though never named–hurricane. For more information about all of Pauline’s books, please hop over to her website at paulinebjones.com.

All she has to do is the impossible. And not fall for the one guy in the universe she can’t have. No problem. Okay, slight problem…

“But I’m not prepared for hurricane season! Oh no!!!!!”

Copyright by WyoJones. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Yup, today is the official start of the 2013 Hurricane season. (You have to put the year in or some people won’t know which hurricane season you’re talking about.) I blogged about preparing for the season on Monday, but today let’s talk names.

I popped open the names list for the year and I have to say, I hope not many storms make it to those names. I can get behind a Hurricane Olga. She just sounds bad a**, but Chantal? Van? Wendy? Nestor? No one wants to get a an a** kicking by a hurricane, but do we really need to ramp it up with Hurricane Nestor? I’m sorry, but Nestor is not bad a**. Am I wrong?

Personally, I think they should double name the storms, the Southern way. That way, if one of the names sounds too nice to be a storm, the other name can carry the weight. And if the name is bad a**, but the storm isn’t, you got a back up soft name in there. I don’t say this just because I had to evacuate for a storm named Georges. I have other reasons.

So what do you think? How should they pick names? Doubles? Triples? A lottery? Voting? All comments are entered into my monthly drawing for $10 AnaBanana gift card. Winner is announced in the first blog post of the new month.

Perilously yours,

Pauline (hmmm, Hurricane Pauline? Yeah, not feeling the bad a** vibes there either.)

Pauline is fairly wimpy in her real life, but she likes to kick it up in her fiction. Whether the story is in space or in New Orleans, you can be sure two people will fall in love and they’ll almost die. And sometimes characters do die. For more info on Pauline, her romantic suspense/science fiction romance/humor/steampunk/fill-in-the-blank books and other random stuff, pop over to her website at paulinebjones.com.

I return (fictionally) to New Orleans for my first romantic suspense novel in five years. Cover art by Elizabeth Vargas Greer. All rights reserved.

May 15th is the official start of hurricane season down here along the coast. Storms can and do start in May, but for Texas, May 15th is usually the start of hurricane preparation season. There are a lot of ways to advance prepare for a hurricane. Okay, maybe not a lot, but there are few:

• Pretend it is the Zombie Apocalypse
• Move to a place where hurricanes don’t hit. Or at least higher ground.
• Put your fingers in your ears and repeat “la-la-la” whenever anyone brings up the subject
• Find out what is essential and do that.

Let’s take a quick look at these prep methods. Pretending it is the Zombie Apocalypse is definitely more fun than planning for a hurricane (unless you’re a weatherman or Geraldo Rivera – hey, he said that fall would end up on YouTube and he was so right. LOL). Plus, weapons of zombie destruction won’t actually stop a hurricane.

Move to a place not threatened by hurricanes. This is the expensive option and could cost you and/or your sig other jobs. We moved to higher ground when we moved to Texas. I think we went from below sea level to around fifty feet. We didn’t get nose bleeds, but did plant a flag.

Ignoring the problem until the big a** storm is making a beeline for you. I don’t recommend this method either. Supplies can literally run out in hours. Yes, hours. And if a storm hits, it takes at least 72 hours for help to arrive. At least. That assumes that all will go well following the storm.

Yeah.

I personally recommend finding out what is essential and at least doing that. You can also buy 72 hour kits from a variety of sources. We opted for this method after a bad experience with a) tuna, b) no power (so no moving air) and c) our cat.

If you don’t like being without moving air, which requires power, then look into the more advanced prep such as gas powered fans (which require gas) and generators (which also require gas). Based on our adventure with Hurricane Ike, I also suggest getting actual cash money (without power, cash machines don’t work), games/books/activities that don’t require power to work, keeping your vehicles as full as possible, and donuts.

I used to recommend chocolate, but it does melt in the heat. What shocked me after Ike was how bad I wanted donuts. I was not alone in that desperate need either. One store that finally opened said they sold some obscene amount of donuts in about an hour. And no, we did not get any. And yes, I’m still bitter about that.

If you have a different, uber-stress food, then substitute it for the donuts. Because the waaa-m-bulance won’t be around for at least a week after a hurricane hits. And the donuts can take longer than week.

Have you ever gone through a big storm? Have any helpful tips to share? Are you prepared? All comments are entered into my monthly drawing for $10 AnaBanana gift card. Winner is announced in the first blog post of the new month.

Perilously, and helpfully yours,

Pauline

New Orleans. A girl. A guy. Bullets and bad guys. A normal day in the Big UNeasy. Well, what passes for normal…

Nell Whitby is starting over in New Orleans, meeting with a publisher for her children’s book, sketching tourists in the French Quarter, and leaving the tragic death of her parents behind. When a handsome detective asks her for a date, her fresh start seems perfect…until a dangerous family secret bubbles up from the past and puts her life in jeopardy.

The oldest of thirteen children, detective Alex Baker has two goals in life: solve murders and avoid anyone under the age of ten. That is, until the day the quirky children’s book author foils a carjacking, becomes a target for the mob, and makes his libido sit up and reconsider the whole no-kids thing. If he doesn’t protect her, she’ll be the next body to turn up in his homicide investigation.

As bullets start to fly, Nell can’t resist her sexy bodyguard or ignore her past, and Alex must protect the irresistible kid-magnet who has them both in the crosshairs.

Available in digital and releasing this summer in print and audio!

Blue Horizons. This view is from a small pullout on the southwest side of the Rim Drive in Crater Lake National Park, OR. I had driven all day and got to Crater Lake late. I had driven across the blue horizon to get there and was rewarded with this magical evening view.
Copyright by WyoJones. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Wishing for a magic carpet, a transporter, anything but a flight and a strip search by the TSA to get to this place.

Do you feel this way by Friday? That you just need to getaway, even if it is only into your imagination? Or someone else’s imagination? I need to work on my next project (and I am!), but I also want the easy way of getting somewhere or some when.

All comments are entered into my drawing for a $10 AnaBanana Gift card of whisking you away, or at least getting you lovely soft skin! Winner is announced first blog post of the new month.

Perilously yours,

Pauline

If you need to get away, how about a fictional trip to New Orleans? It’s got a mystery, a romance, bad guys and humor.

New Orleans. A girl. A guy. Bullets and bad guys. A normal day in the Big UNeasy. Well, what passes for normal…

Nell Whitby is starting over in New Orleans, meeting with a publisher for her children’s book, sketching tourists in the French Quarter, and leaving the tragic death of her parents behind. When a handsome detective asks her for a date, her fresh start seems perfect…until a dangerous family secret bubbles up from the past and puts her life in jeopardy.

The oldest of thirteen children, detective Alex Baker has two goals in life: solve murders and avoid anyone under the age of ten. That is, until the day the quirky children’s book author foils a carjacking, becomes a target for the mob, and makes his libido sit up and reconsider the whole no-kids thing. If he doesn’t protect her, she’ll be the next body to turn up in his homicide investigation.

As bullets start to fly, Nell can’t resist her sexy bodyguard or ignore her past, and Alex must protect the irresistible kid-magnet who has them both in the crosshairs.

Buy at: Amazon   Barnes & Noble  iTunes  All Romance ebooks    Smashwords   Sony

My website    My blog    Social Media Connect Page

Releasing in print and audio this summer!

Beehive Geyser, Upper Geyser Basin, Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming
Copyright by WyoJones. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

I realized I hadn’t taken our scenic route to Yellowstone Park for a while. I believe the Park is still closed, though it might have opened by the time this post goes live. It’s been such a funky spring, it is hard to know.

The hubs is a dedicated geyser gazer and will wait for days to photograph one of the rare eruptions. If you’d like to see more his Yellowstone Flickr set, just click here.

My personal scenic route has been mostly in my imagination as I take it back to New Orleans for the next installment in my Big Uneasy series. The fictional food doesn’t quite satisfy, but I can get the music vibe with a playlist and see the sights in my mind. Score!

Speaking of The Big Uneasy, I was thrilled to get my first review of Relatively Risky from Midwest Book Review:

“Jones’ writing style is unique: a strong dose of noir balanced with humor and witty dialogue. The plot moves at a fast pace as does the chemistry between Alex and Nell. The characters are well-developed and likeable, the relationship between Alex and his 12 siblings fun, and the New Orleans ambience conveyed so realistically the reader will feel as if they have been plopped down right in the middle of the Big Easy.”

Oh yes, I’m happy. Have you been to Yellowstone Park? Seen a geyser? Gazed at it for a while? All comments are entered into my monthly drawing for $10 AnaBanana gift card. Winner is announced in the first blog post of the new month.

Perilously yours,

Pauline

New Orleans. A girl. A guy. Bullets and bad guys. A normal day in the Big UNeasy. Well, what passes for normal…

Nell Whitby is starting over in New Orleans, meeting with a publisher for her children’s book, sketching tourists in the French Quarter, and leaving the tragic death of her parents behind. When a handsome detective asks her for a date, her fresh start seems perfect…until a dangerous family secret bubbles up from the past and puts her life in jeopardy.

The oldest of thirteen children, detective Alex Baker has two goals in life: solve murders and avoid anyone under the age of ten. That is, until the day the quirky children’s book author foils a carjacking, becomes a target for the mob, and makes his libido sit up and reconsider the whole no-kids thing. If he doesn’t protect her, she’ll be the next body to turn up in his homicide investigation.

As bullets start to fly, Nell can’t resist her sexy bodyguard or ignore her past, and Alex must protect the irresistible kid-magnet who has them both in the crosshairs.

Buy at: Amazon   Barnes & Noble  iTunes  All Romance ebooks    Smashwords   Sony

My website    My blog    Social Media Connect Page

My slippers are not this big and they don’t have ears, but they are slippers. When I was growing up, going further in your slippers than the curb for the paper was a sign of seriously slipping standards.
Copyright by WyoJones. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

So, TWICE recently I drove to McD’s for my bacon-cheese-biscuit breakfast wearing my slippers. Twice in like, two days. (If you’re also worried about my health, don’t be. Tests came back great. Hubs is SO bitter, but that’s a different blog post. Maybe.)

As I waited for the light, I found myself wondering what other things I’ve done that I vowed I’d never, ever do.

Before I answer my own question, let me state, for the record, that the slippers in question did not have ears or eyes and were not remotely bunny-like. But they were slippers. The fact that my feet were cold and I didn’t want to bare them for socks didn’t remove the sense I’d been unusually lazy, even by my standards (which mostly involves waiting until I absolutely have to do it, then finding the easiest way to do it).

I probably had a long list of (judgmental) things I vowed I wouldn’t do when I was young and didn’t understand what it would be like to the age I am right now. I’m not sure I remember all of them, though, because I got older.

So here’s my short list of things I can remember vowing never to do, but have done:

• let myself go, and the corollary: let my hair go gray
• go out without makeup or brushing my hair (kind of like letting myself go, I suppose)
• give up on high heels
• wear pants that are more comfortable than sassy
• say, “when I was a kid” or “back in my day”
• get old (Yeah, I think I thought I could control this one…)

If hadn’t done that last, I’d probably remember more, but yeah…

I can promise you that I will never, ever do this. Ever. Except in my nightmares, which I can’t help. Oh, sorry. TMI, right? Okay, moving on…
Copyright by WyoJones. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

To see more of the hubby’s pics from Annual Houston Car Parade, just click here. Or you can tell me what you vowed you would never do and a) still mean to never do because you aren’t old enough to do it yet, or b) did it. (grin) All comments are entered into my monthly drawing for $10 AnaBanana gift card. Winner is announced in the first blog post of the new month.

Perilously yours,

Pauline

New Orleans. A girl. A guy. Bullets and bad guys. A normal day in the Big UNeasy. Well, what passes for normal…

Nell Whitby is starting over in New Orleans, meeting with a publisher for her children’s book, sketching tourists in the French Quarter, and leaving the tragic death of her parents behind. When a handsome detective asks her for a date, her fresh start seems perfect…until a dangerous family secret bubbles up from the past and puts her life in jeopardy.

The oldest of thirteen children, detective Alex Baker has two goals in life: solve murders and avoid anyone under the age of ten. That is, until the day the quirky children’s book author foils a carjacking, becomes a target for the mob, and makes his libido sit up and reconsider the whole no-kids thing. If he doesn’t protect her, she’ll be the next body to turn up in his homicide investigation.

As bullets start to fly, Nell can’t resist her sexy bodyguard or ignore her past, and Alex must protect the irresistible kid-magnet who has them both in the crosshairs.

Buy at: Amazon   Barnes & Noble  iTunes  All Romance ebooks    Smashwords   Sony

My website    My blog    Social Media Connect Page

Wasn’y my Grandma beautiful? I thought she was beautiful as my grandma, but I had to get older to realize she’d been young once, too.

Last week I blogged about remembering my grandma and her quirky kitchen. While I was home I also took the opportunity to capture some old family photos on my iPhone. I’ve thought about this photograph a lot since I became a grandmother. I didn’t know this girl. I met her after she’d married, had children, lost two of them, been widowed and become a grandmother.

If I could take a wormhole to the past, I’d like to meet her. I have a feeling I’d have liked the young Margaret, too.

What about you? Who would you most like to meet? Would you go back? Or go forward? All comments are entered into my monthly drawing for $10 AnaBanana gift card. Winner is announced in the first blog post of the new month.

Perilously, and wistfully, yours,

Pauline

Pauline learned to love books, partly because of her grandma and partly because of her mom. The storytelling part seems to be in her genes as well. If Pauline told her grandma about Relatively Risky, she bets grandma would say what she used to say, “Well, isn’t that interesting?”

Pauline hopes readers will also find the fictional trip to New Orleans interesting. Relatively Risky released in digital formats the end of March and will release in print and audio this summer.

New Orleans. A girl. A guy. Bullets and bad guys. A normal day in the Big UNeasy. Well, what passes for normal…

The Night Faery Snarls
Nyxxa Nightfae, played by Nicci Haynie, snarls at the camera during the 2013 Sherwood Forest Faire near Paige Texas.
Copyright by WyoJones. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Have you ever felt like snarling? I did on Saturday, when I was trying to get my blogging mojo on. Or least get a blog post done. It felt like all the Muses were working against me. Like I was writing through mud. So this week my scenic route is through a snarl. It might feel a bit bumpy, but hopefully it will have smoothed out by the time this goes live.

So, what do you when you feel the need to snarl? All comments are entered into my monthly drawing for $10 AnaBanana gift card. Winner is announced in the first blog post of the new month. Yes, the gift card is back to $10. And today is the day I announce the winner of the April $20 Gift card! So, here it is, sans the snarl:

Joni Hahn Aka Sophie Greyson

Congrats!!! I’ll be in touch with how to get your GC!

And there’s an extra chance to win an Anabanana Gift Card this week. I’m participating in the TRS Stay at Home Party over at their blog. I’ll be posting a mini photo tour of New Orleans for the next five days. You can see my posts by clicking here.

Perilously yours,

Pauline

The other thing Pauline does when she feels a snarl coming on is go Godzilla on some fictional characters. She recently hosed some in Relatively Risky, the first book in her new series, The Big Uneasy, set in New Orleans. Relatively Risky is available in digital from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Omnilit/Are, iTunes, Kobo, Sony Reader Store, and Smashwords.

New Orleans. A girl. A guy. Bullets and bad guys. A normal day in the Big UNeasy. Well, what passes for normal…

• Technology in books and film.

This, of course, was Pierce Brosnan’s first time as Bond, James Bond. Despite the technology blooper, I loved this movie and still like to watch it.

I think about the dangers of specificity every time I see the movie GoldenEye. Remember the moment (mild spoiler alert!) when the geek-masquerading-as-a-good-guy brags about his 14.4 modem? It might have been cool when the movie was made in 1995—no, by the time the movie released we’d moved on to the 28.8, based on this timeline. Ouch.

Most of the time I feel like I’m old tech. I remember the crank dialed phones where you had to talk where the phone was, not where you’d like to be.  Oh, and party lines anyone?

In my comment on the post, I mention that I am “as old as dirt” and while there is dirt older than me, I feel older than really old dirt when I think back and realize how very much has changed.

My two grandmas went from horse and buggies to seeing men go to the moon, and lived long enough to see early desktop computers and those suitcase cell phones that seemed so cool at the time…

See how short that cord is? That’s how far away you could get from the phone. Sometimes the cord to wall was longer, but not always.

My personal journey begins about the same time as Godzilla—is that a plus or a minus?—and b&w television. I played on dirt roads, and wrote my first story on a typewriter you had to POUND to get the keys to hit the paper. Yes, there is a reason “they” call it pounding out a story. That story was two paragraphs long and exhausted me rethinking being a writer for several years.

There are still writers out there who type and even some who write their first drafts by hand. I would not lie about this, even though it boggles my mind. And makes my fingers cramp in sympathy.

I understand the compulsion to fight change, because if you have a way to get the Muse going, you don’t want to mess with it. Unless it gives your hands major CRAMP. And then you need to come to an accommodation with the Muse. IMHO.

Ahem, back to books and tech.

This is the third cover for this book, which was originally titled PIG IN A PARK.

So, when I wrote The Spy Who Kissed Me and my Lonesome Lawmen series, particularly while writing The Last Enemy, technology was changing so fast I was having to update my character’s laptop and online options almost weekly. Okay, maybe not weekly, but it felt like it was that fast at the time. I finally gave up trying to keep up and tried advancing the technology. And I got a bit more…vague in my descriptions to try to keep the book from feeling too dated.

To put it in perspective, I went online in 1993 or 94, certainly was online by 1995. And yes, I had a 14.4 modem, a 28.8…

The Spy Who Kissed Me (written and SET in 1992) released the first time in 1998 and no one was bothered—at that time—that my character preferred a typewriter. The Last Enemy was published the first time in 1999 and the tech was thought to be kind of cool.

Technology isn’t the only thing that can make a work feel dated, though it is the most obvious. The real world as setting is also hitting a moving target, though it tends to change slower than technology. Unless it gets hit by a hurricane…

I am happy The Spy Who Kissed Me is still in print, but some people discovering the book now weren’t born during the First Gulf War. Okay a lot weren’t born and yes, Virginia there were two Gulf Wars. (If you don’t recognize the Virginia reference, well, I feel old as dirt again.)

Am I sorry that there are parts of my back list that are a bit dated? No, I’m not. I wrote both books for readers then. I couldn’t see the future, and in fact, the future of books back then wasn’t that great if you were a small beans, aspiring writer. The chances of my books getting published, let alone still being available to readers…well, it was a dream, a faint hope.

And that setting was what shaped my characters into who they were. If I went back and updated them, they wouldn’t be the same people anymore, just like I wouldn’t be me with Godzilla and dirt roads and huge, old typewriters.

I typed my first short story on one very like this. It took me years to try again. It was so exhausting hitting the keys.

So, are you old tech or new?

All comments are entered into my monthly drawing for $20 AnaBanana gift card, for this month only. And wow, this is last blog post that is eligible for the $20 card! Hurry! Comment now! Winner is announced in the first blog post of the new month, which will be in two days! So act now! (grin)

Perilously yours,

Pauline

When Pauline isn’t feeling old, or writing about adventures in space, she is fictionally revisiting New Orleans, the setting for her new, romantic suspense series called The Big Uneasy. The first book in the series released the end of March in digital and will release in print and audio this summer. Relatively Risky is currently available in these online bookstores: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Sony Reader Store, All Romance eBooks, Kobo and Smashwords.

Magical New Orleans. A girl and a guy. Wait! Bullets and bad guys? A normal day in the Big UNeasy. Well, what passes for normal…

Four pictures of my Grandma’s kitchen. I can remember sitting at that table watching her write her history, complete with photos. Through her I “met” my grandfather who died when my mom was five.

Sometimes I wish for a wormhole back to my Grandma’s house, particularly back to her kitchen. Growing up in a family with five siblings, I loved the old, silence of my grandma’s house. It was quirky, with a mysterious and musty cellar (with a secret room at the back!) and low counters where I could play at being a grownup. (Now I wonder about my grandma’s back!) There was even a special drawer with paper dolls, coloring books and crayons for when let’s pretend got old.

My mom and I were going through my grandma’s cedar chest and found three of her aprons, grandma’s scent still clinging faintly to them. Yes, there was tear or ten.

I’m sometimes surprised at what will sweep me back to that child with that grandma (I had a different experience with my country grandma). It can be the scent of Lily of the Valley or a song (she loved The Sound of Music soundtrack). When I needed a memory-filled house for Mel of Out of Time, I turned to this grandma’s house. Mel sits at the table in the first picture and talks to Jack about why he has come to visit. She is surrounded by kindly family ghosts and so was I while writing the book. I’d like to think my grandma would have liked the story. She was a great reader.

While I was home last week, I drove past the street where Grandma used to live. I almost couldn’t recognize the house and felt a deep longing to buy it and restore it to “grandma ready” once more. At least the house is the same in my memory–and in Out of Time.

Do you ever get blasted into the past by a scent? A song? A flash of a profile in a crowd that reminds you of an old love or old enemy? The angle of a building, perhaps? All comments are entered into my monthly drawing for $20 AnaBanana gift card (April only, will return to $10 for May, so be sure to comment this month!). Winner is announced in the first blog post of the new month.

Perilously and reflectively yours,

Pauline

Pauline was also blasted into the past when she wrote Relatively Risky, which released the end of March in digital format and will release in print in June. She enjoyed revisiting New Orleans and hopes readers will, too. For more info, including purchase links, I hope you’ll pop over to my website and check it out.

New Orleans. A girl. A guy. Bullets and bad guys. A normal day in the Big UNeasy. Well, what passes for normal…