Do you ever get tired of being a grownup? I actually found myself envying the grand babies. They cry or pucker up to cry and we all go, “Ahhhh, look how cute!”
I am not cute when I pucker up or cry. In fact, the cute train passed my station a long time ago (though thankfully the hubs still thinks I’m cute.) I got a cold last month and yeah, not cute. AT ALL. Ugh.
It shocked me how fast I turned two again. One minute I was sort of a grownup. My nose started to burn and bam. I was two.
But I was still expected to be a grownup. Because I looked like a grownup, only with a red nose.
It’s really hard to be a grownup. Think about it. You can’t (or shouldn’t) say everything that passes through your brain. And sometimes you can’t say the obvious. That’s the hard one. Even though I hate it when someone points out the obvious to me. If you do it, you get the eye roll. Ever notice how, even over the phone, you can feel the eye roll?
When I was a teenager, I couldn’t wait to be a grownup. I asked my mom what it felt like and she said, “I’ll let you know when I feel it.”
I thought she was holding back The Secret of Being a Grown Up. Turns out, she wasn’t.
You get older, but how old you feel, it changes from day to day. It changes when you’re sick or annoyed or haven’t had enough sleep. But if you don’t want to alienate everyone you love, you have to keep that inner child, well, inner. Letting that kid out can damage your relationships. And possibly get you arrested. On reality TV.
One of the things that being a grandma is reminding me: growing up is also about growing out. It’s about becoming aware of the world around us. Discovering that we are NOT the center of the universe–not even our own. Unless we want to live in it all by ourselves.
Restraint. Compassion. Unselfishness. Kindness. Forgiveness. A sense of humor…they sort of bundle themselves into something called maturity. But maturity is not a destination. It’s a choice that we make over and over and over again by choosing to be a grownup. It almost never happens by accident, I’m sorry to say.
When the cold finally departed and I started feeling my age again (which wasn’t actually that fun), I was glad I hadn’t erred too badly. At least I hope. The grownups around me seem to still love me. And they are all very forgiving, thank goodness.
Do you ever think how amazing the world would be if everyone that was of age, would choose to be grownups? If not, what do you think about when you arrive on the other side of a butt kicking cold? Share your deepest, darkest moments of inner childness (or just comment) and you’ll be entered into my monthly drawing for an AnaBanana gift basket that will pamper your inner child and your outer grownup. Winner is announced the first blog post of the new month. 🙂
Pauline is now sitting on her inner child, while working on her next book and trying to get the rest of her back list back on sale. While she does her balancing act (umbalancing act?), you can check out what IS on sale at paulinebjones.com.