photo of staring guy
I know you took it! Where is it?

So the hubs told me that he is trying to outlive me so I won’t write his biography, The Life and Times of WyoJones. I’m sensing a lack of trust from my companion of thirty-nine years. He’s always been so supportive of my writing and our friends—particularly those on our Christmas letter list—have been asking for it for years. As an author, it is hard to give up on the idea of hotly demanded project.

I probably shouldn’t have promised to wait until he dies to write it.

I think he’s hoping that if he does go first, I’ll be too far gone mentally to remember the good stuff. And of course, I’m afraid our kids will write our story after we’re gone.

What prompted this discussion was a lost remote.

That’s right. A remote.

When the hubs can’t find the remote (which is usually stuck down in the side of his chair or on the floor by his chair or hiding in plain sight on account of his male pattern blindness), he’ll look around and ask, “Who stole the remote?”

Since the only other person in the house is me, the suspect list is short. I stole it, because, you know, I would. Or a random, remote-specific marauder stormed through the house and took it, taking nothing else because he delights in confusing his victims.

photo of marauder
No remote is safe from me. Bwahahahah!

Or possibly a black hole ate it. But that seems a bit far-fetched.

My own theory is the remote just gets tired and hides. I know the way the hubs watches TV is pretty typical of men. Clicking through all the channels multiple times, because this time there will be something on worth stopping to watch.

The hubs is solidly in the “a marauder stole the remote” camp. While others’ mileage may vary, I find it kind of cute that he always looks a bit surprised when I find the remote (which I suspect is the point of the whole exercise).

You’re probably reading this and thinking, “They are both bat crap crazy.” And you’d be right. But in an odd way, his crazy and mine kind of mesh together, which is why we’ve managed to live together for so long, despite all that crazy. Of course, I prefer to call it “quirky.” Or “eccentric.” Yeah, I’m comfortable with either.

I am a little afraid to ask a question for this blog post. What if the only answer is: “Yeah, your kids need to send in the guys in the white coats.” But I will be brave and ask anyway. Do you or your significant other have a quirky routine that might be considered a tiny bit out there?

You know I love me some comments. I love them so much I enter them into my monthly drawing for an AnaBanana gift basket of yummy and possibly a little bit quirky. Winners are usually announced the first blog post of the new month, but you may have noticed I missed the first post of July. Sometimes Life Happens. So announcing for June below. 🙂

And the June winner of the AnaBanana gift basket is:

Karen McFarland!

Congrats! I’ll be touch so I can hook you up with the soapy awesomeness!

Perilously yours,


“This is an amazing collection of taut suspense and dreamworthy romance.” Amazon review, five stars

cover for Love on the Edge
Nine shades of romantic suspense. .99 for limited time!

You can buy it now!

The Hubs is Trying to Outlive Me
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6 thoughts on “The Hubs is Trying to Outlive Me

  • July 10, 2014 at 7:34 pm

    Oh my goodness, thank you Pauline. I am out of town and that would be why I’m late to your post. In fact I am still away. How sweet of you! Yes, I’m quite sure that those of us that have been together with our spouses as long as we have would be able to write quite the bio on our hubbies. And that’s what they’re afraid of. See how much power we have? Ha, ha, ha. We will look forward to yours. 🙂
    Karen McFarland recently posted…A Whale of a TaleMy Profile

    • July 12, 2014 at 3:01 pm

      I payed it forward as you requested, Karen! I hope you are enjoying your trip! Thanks for the support!

  • July 8, 2014 at 7:44 am

    HAHA! Very cute post, Pauline.
    I can’t say we do anything quirky, at least that I can think of. I write quick notes on the bathroom mirror for him with a dry erase marker. And he will leave small sticky notes for me to find. Like on the picture in the laundry room that reads: In this home dwells love (and he adds: And a hot ass wife) Or in the freezer, where the note demands I shut the freezer door lest my “hotness” melts the ice. Silly man…

    • July 8, 2014 at 9:32 am

      Oh, that’s so cute! He sounds like a keeper! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  • July 7, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    We don’t have a lot of rituals, but we have a lot of catch phases. Like “stop smelling the money” which is hilarious to us, but no one else! 🙂

    *runs off to snatch up romance novels for summer hammock reading*
    L. E. Carmichael recently posted…Gene Therapy Research Gets Stamp of ApprovalMy Profile

    • July 7, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      LOL! That is cute! I love those private exchanges. 🙂 Thanks for running off! 🙂

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