A World Without Idiots
Have you ever wondered what the world would be like without idiots? I have, and it inspired me to write my first book, a comical science fiction novel called Stupid Humans.
I always knew there were a lot of stupid people in the world, but I never knew how many until I worked in retail. One day I had a customer who came to the register with a package of cardboard bankers’ boxes. It was shrink-wrapped and did not appear to have been opened.
She pointed at the label, which clearly said, “6-pack.” “This says ‘six pack.’ Does that mean there’s more than one in here?”
The question was so stupid, I didn’t know how to answer at first. I wanted to suggest she count to six on her fingers, but that might annoy her, and stupid people almost always complain to management when they fail to appreciate sarcasm.
Finally, with as straight a face as I could manage, I said, “Yes, there are six boxes…in the six pack of boxes.”
She wasn’t even the dumbest person I waited on that day.
That night, as I was running on the treadmill and trying to burn off the stress of my annoying day, I thought about how nice it would be if I could round up all the idiots and ship them to another planet somewhere. How much more could the rest of us accomplish if we weren’t answering stupid questions all day? How awesome would our technology be if smart people were never interrupted by idiots. What would a society of only smart people look like? I bet there wouldn’t be any warning labels telling us coffee is hot.
But there was a problem with my fantasy: Based on my observations of people at work, there are a lot more idiots in the world than smart people. From a logistical standpoint, it would make more sense to leave the idiots here and move the intelligent humans somewhere else—let the dumb people have Earth.
And that’s when I thought, that would make an interesting setting for a book.
Then I remembered a previous story idea involving a journalist, a space station, and a war between the humans and some aliens. It got hung up because I had zero creative ideas for what the aliens looked like, what their society was like, and why they were at war with humans. I couldn’t think of anything that didn’t seem corny, cliched, or like something that had already been done on Star Trek.
That’s when the lightbulb went off. Humans have never needed aliens to start a war. What if all the intelligent humans did leave Earth—and we’re what’s left? (That would explain a lot of people I’ve met.) What if the intelligent humans ditched Earth, moved to another solar system, and were living happily ever after when the rest of us finally tracked them down?
By the time I got off the treadmill, I had the world for Stupid Humans.
V.R. Craft always heard you should write about what you know, so she decided to write a book called Stupid Humans, drawing on her previous experience working in retail and her subsequent desire to get away from planet Earth. She has also worked in marketing, advertising, and public relations, where she found even more material for Stupid Humans. Now self-employed, she enjoys the contact sport of shopping at clearance sales, slamming on the brakes for yard sale signs, and wasting time on social media, where she finds inspiration for a sequel to Stupid Humans every day.
Find out more about V.R.
Oh man, I could share some stories — that happened to me — and sadly, some of my stupid moments. Thankfully, I don’t have to do that, at least not today. lol
So, peeps, want to share any experiences that made YOU want to leave Earth behind? Or boot someone to another planet?
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