Broken down wagon
This is me about nine o’clock in the morning. I usually get my wheels back on around eleven. Give or take… Copyright by WyoJones. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

I am not a morning person. If you’ve seen me whining on Facebook, you might have suspected this about me. If you’re a morning person, please don’t hate me. I really can’t help it. It doesn’t matter if I go to bed at six in the evening and sleep until six or seven. There are slight differences in how I feel if I’d had 3 hours of sleep and the requisite eight. Slight. When I open my eyes in the morning, I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or eaten by wolves and then pooped over a cliff. Or the smashed bug on your windshield.

I’m honestly surprised that I’m a) not dead, and b) that I can feel that bad and not be dead. Except that one would hope that being dead would end the misery. Oh my gosh! What if resurrection morning is painful?? That would really bite the big one. I don’t have to be a morning person. I would settle for being morning neutral. I’m not what you’d call perky at night.

I thought everyone felt awful when they woke up. That some people started feeling better faster. Then a morning person friend (I have them) told me she feels fine when she wakes up. Sometimes she feels a “little sleepy.”

A little sleepy? Okay, I kind of know how that feels. Before I go to bed. Because I’m a night person. Officially morning begins a few seconds after midnight. Officially, that’s night for me, but anything that occurs after I’ve gone to sleep is “morning,” no matter what the clock says. I personally don’t believe in 4, 5, or 6 o’clock. I know they exist, but I don’t like spending time with them. And you won’t like spending time with me then.

I have no clue why Life rolled the morning dice and mine came up craps. But here’s the deal. If you’re a morning person living with a night person, these are some things you can expect and some things you shouldn’t expect.

Expect:

  • Blank stares
  • Grumpy gradually fading to bleak acceptance.
  • Bleak acceptance gradually giving way for basic sentience.
  • Basic sentience gradually becoming rational thought and the ability to carry on a conversation.
  • Smiles can follow on the heels of rational thought if no inhibiting forces are present (such as colds, allergies, lack of chocolate or Diet Dr. Pepper).

Don’t expect:

  • Sentience
  • Smiling/cheerfulness
  • Conversation
  • Optimism about personal survival or that of the human race

Until the bleak mid-morning has been successfully survived. I can still remember a conversation I had with Our Son not long after he started schooling at home. This took place during my personal prime time.

Our Son: Wow, mom, you’re actually very funny.
Me: (after thinking about this) Sorry about that. I’m not a morning person.
Our Son: (after thinking about this) No.

I guess he needed consecutive days to notice. And to not have the late afternoon and evenings ruined by homework…

I know that morning people probably experience something not unlike these symptoms in the evening, but I’m not sure. What is it like to be a morning person at night? Does suffering become our meeting place?

You know I love comments and insights! All comments are rewarded by being entered into my monthly drawing for an AnaBanana gift basket ($25 value). Winner is announced the first blog post of the new month! And guess what? That’s this post! See my latest basket winner below!

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And the winner of the May AnaBanana gift basket is:

Leslie Smyers! Congratulations!

I’ll be in touch with you about how to get your gift basket. 🙂

Perilously yours,
Pauline

“Jones is back and taking on new genres and challenges in this high-intensity time-traveling war thriller.” RT Book Reviews

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What happens when a twenty-first century woman on a mission to change the past meets a thoroughly 1940s man trying to stay alive in the hellish skies over war-torn Europe?

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(Also available in used print editions.)

The Bleak Mid-Morning
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12 thoughts on “The Bleak Mid-Morning

  • June 11, 2014 at 3:44 pm
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    Groan, I know just how you feel. I usually sit and stare, blankly, clutching my coffee. I feel victimized. I feel resentful. Hate happy people. All that night-owl stuff.
    Great post.

  • June 3, 2014 at 8:58 pm
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    Ugg, I am not and have never been a morning person. I totally relate to you Pauline. I did hear a theory once that those of us that are born at night are night people. And those born in the morning are morning people. I think there may be something to that because I was born late at night. And I am more alert at night. Hey, we’re just trying to get through the day, right? But thanks for the warning girl. I will tread lightly when I see your morning posts on FB. 🙂
    Karen McFarland recently posted…A Whale of a TaleMy Profile

    • June 3, 2014 at 9:07 pm
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      Hmmm, I wonder if that is the answer? It works for my kids, but I’m not sure when I was born. It might have been at night. How interesting! And yes, we just try to make it through the day. LOL yeah, I’m not Little Miss Sunshine in the morning, even on FB. LOL

  • June 3, 2014 at 1:52 am
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    I have never been a morning person! I can stay up all night if I have to, but try and get me out of bed for anything before 8am? It’s not going to be pretty…
    My mom swears it’s been that way since I was a baby! Lol!

    • June 3, 2014 at 6:59 am
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      I think we are born what we are. LOL One of my kids is worse night person than I am. LOL

  • June 2, 2014 at 12:37 pm
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    Not a morning person either. Don’t expect cogent conversation with me until I’ve had my third cup of tea. (three to a pot) I do get a full day in, it’s just not the traditional 9 to 5-er.
    A friend of mine has this to say about our sort of person – “I’m usually up at the crack of nine.”

    • June 2, 2014 at 3:15 pm
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      Oh, that’s a good one! We also have oh-dark-misery or oh-dark-hundred to stand for any time in the early morning.

  • June 2, 2014 at 10:39 am
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    I was a very early morning person at one time, getting up at 4:30 a.m. to write before going to the day job. Now that I am retired that has changed somewhat. For me, a good morning is getting up around 6:30 a.m., followed by an hour’s meditation and yoga routine. My sluggish time is early evening, as you suspected, so I plan my activities accordingly. I find that I can do some light research and even some reading, and yes, perhaps an online game or two if I have worked hard *wink*. I go to bed quite early as I need more than eight hours of sleep to have a productive day. Enjoyed the post!
    Karen
    KM Huber recently posted…Graduating is a Lifelong PracticeMy Profile

    • June 2, 2014 at 3:14 pm
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      That’s interesting, KM. I really have wondered, because I feel my most alert in the evening and even if I feel tired, often get a second wind. But early morning hates me. LOL

  • June 2, 2014 at 10:01 am
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    I am definitely NOT a morning person. It’s funny that I’m usually talkative during the day, but not for the first several minutes of the day. It’s like a personal rule: No talking. Plus, no direct eye contact, and definitely no questions. Sometimes I wake up and my husband asks me a question, and I just stare at him with this look like, “I know he’s talking, and that language is English, but what do those words mean…?” LOL.

    I need a few minutes to regroup, eat something, and let my brain clear, then I’m good.
    Julie Glover recently posted…How Do I Proofread Thee? Let Me Count the WaysMy Profile

    • June 2, 2014 at 3:13 pm
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      Oh my goodness, Julie, I know what you mean! I just kind of blink and stare and the hubs will sigh. LOLOL

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